No matter how hard i try to overcome the fear, there is something about natural birth and the unknowns related to it that make it far too daunting for my mind and perhaps, my body, although i will never know, to contemplate.
So 3 weeks prior to my section date, I took quite unwell and ended up in hospital for 3 nights with a very bad chest infection. It took me a while to recover and i honestly didn't feel back to normal until days before the birth. It really shook things up and meant i was feeling a bit vulnerable, weak and nervous about the c-section.
In the run up to the section, I made sure to do my prep work. By prep work, I mean, nails, tan, brows, blowdry ... obviously. Oh, and of course, i tried to listen to positive affirmations and practise my hypnobirth breathing as much as possible. They don't just come in useful for natural births, believe me. Hypnobirthing principles can get your through many experiences!
The day before the section, my husband and I dropped our eldest off at Granny's (emosh - my baby was becoming the big girl) and I went in for my pre-op which is just routine blood tests. I was so nervous, i had no idea why as i knew exactly what to expect and that there was nothing to fear. Anyway, we were in and out in half an hour and since it was just the two of us, we decided to go wild and go out for dinner and a cinema date. Rock on. We went to see Girl on the Train. I remember sitting through the film, desperately wanting to get lost in the plot but instead nervously fidgeting as I couldn't get my mind off what was awaiting me the next morning. I hardly slept that night.
We were told to arrive at the hospital at 7.30am, I was so tired and bleary eyed. When you have a section, you are told to wear no make up. Aherm, no chance. I went as natural as I could but I had the basic mascara, concealer, bronzer combo. We got to hospital and ushered to a waiting room with another couple also booked in that morning. I quickly found out I was third in the queue, not counting emergency sections that might skip. It was a waiting game. I was taken to a room with a bed and toilet and asked to gown up in anticipation of being taken to theatre imminently. We must have waited in that room for around 3.5hours which didn't do much for my nerves but the husband and I had a bit of a laugh, especially as he loves to take endless selfies while dressed in scrubs. I peed about 500 times despite not being allowed anything to eat or drink since the evening before.
In the run up to going to theatre I was visited by the anaesthetist, surgeon and a number of midwives answering questions and filling forms. Just before 12noon, a midwife arrived and took us to theatre. This was it! My husband was asked to sit outside while I went into theatre. To start things off, the anaesthetist inserted a cannula in my hand. For anyone nervous about this, don't be. It's a very easy process and often completely painless. I was then asked to sit up on the bed for my spinal. Again, the spinal is very straightforward, the hardest part is getting yourself into position - you are asked to slouch over which is quite hard to do with a massive bump. The spinal itself is not painful. You feel a deep pressure on your lower back where it is applied and then you start to feel your legs go warm and that's it kicking in thick and fast. The midwives then laid me on the bed and a sheet was put in place. Now, at this point I asked them not to tell me what was happening as I can get very squeamish but apparently by law they have to tell me what they are doing. And with that, a catheter was inserted. Not a thing was felt. From the chest down, I was numb. But just the thought of the catheter being in made me feel woozy and I started to feel quite sick and dizzy so made sure to let the midwife know. I remember her saying 'Don't worry we have drugs for that!' and i immediately protested, i didn't want more drugs but she must have pumped something through the IV because in an instant i started to feel better.
My husband was invited in to sit next to me and the next 10 minutes went pretty quick. I could hear the surgeon chat about incisions so the husband and i tried to chat to each other so not to hear it as it could throw either one of us over the squeamish edge. Before we knew it, at 12:06pm, Ada Charlotte Read, had entered the world with a quack. A literal quack. Like a duck. And we loved her, instantly. I was full of tears and giggles when we were shown a quick peek of her before she was whisked off for a tidy up as all c-section babies are. It always amazes me how quickly your baby enters the world after waiting so long to meet them, and just the slightest sound or smell of them and you feel like you have known them forever. It's the sweetest feeling in the world.
I turn to my husband and I say 'talk to me, talk to me!' ... I needed us to chat over the surgeons words on what was going on down below. But in that moment of panic, neither of us had a clue what to say to each other!! We had been making each other laugh all morning, had just delivered our second daughter but we had no words to speak. No. damn. words. Fortunately, one of us managed to hold it together while the other one needed urgent medical attention. That's right. He felt faint and was promptly evicted from theatre so he could pass out in peace. I was left to listen to the gory details of my stitching up. By this point, Ada had been put in a cot and sat beside me as I was unable to hold her.. and she just lay there crying. I felt so helpless, I was desperate to cuddle and soothe my baby. If the situation hadn't been so comical I would have been an emotional wreck! There was even a point I started singing 'lalalalala' softly to try and drown out the surgeon.
Before I knew it (possibly 20minutes later), my husband was upright and I was holding my baby, being wheeled to recovery. It was bliss being able to hold my baby, she was just beautiful. Actually, no, she was really quite ugly but a few hours later when the wrinkles had ironed out, she was the most gorgeous little darling. As soon as I arrived in recovery, I requested some help from the midwife to breastfeed. Because I didn't get immediate skin on skin contact, I didn't get to experience the breast crawl either so just like i did with my eldest, I made sure i fed her as soon as i was in recovery. Ada latched on and fed but it wasn't all that comfortable but we managed. I'll keep details of our breastfeeding journey for another post though.
The hospital was quite busy so it took a few hours for them to find me a bed on the ward. Once on the ward, i was mobilised (catheter still lingering) quickly. After my first baby, I requested the removal of the catheter after 6 hours which was allowed but policy has changed and I had to wait 12 hours. I was so uncomfortable knowing it was in and really didn't want to move around too much until it was out. I couldn't even feel it, just knowing it was there bugged me and i worried the whole day and night about how it would feel getting it removed. Turns out that felt of absolutely nothing too and I needn't have worried. Honestly, what a woose. Once it was removed, I was much happier to get up and about, I just felt much more normal with nothing attached to me.
Getting up and about is the best thing for it after a c-section. My wound felt tender but at no point did it restrict basic mobility and the hospital make sure while you are in their care, you are topped up regularly with pain killers. As much as i was desperate to get home, there is something lovely about having some quality time with your baby in the precious first few days before the madness of visitors descend upon your home, so i tried to make the most of it.
And I guess that's all there is to tell for now about my beautiful baby entering the world. I've been very lucky with both my c-section experiences and i realise how different it can be for other mums. Even with my first, which wasn't planned, it was still a very positive experience for me. In another post, I will talk a bit about recovery as again, both times, it has been pretty straightforward.
How does your c-section experience compare? Or are you booked in for one? I am happy to answer any questions if anyone is concerned about an impending experience?
