C-section recovery

I've had 2 c-sections and dealt with recovery of both in a fairly similar, straightforward way so I thought i'd let you know my personal tips for recovery.  This is not official advice, simply a few things that worked for me.  It won't be the same for everyone considering every mother's circumstance for a c-section is unique to them, whether it be emergency or elective.

My recovery with my first child was pretty quick and pleasant.  I felt that I healed in good time, was fit to get out and about, had no infection and didn't suffer much discomfort and certainly no pain.  Or at least pain that was agonising or unable to cope with.  My second recovery has not been quick at all.  Six months later and I am just about feeling normal but still very aware that my body is tired and taking its time to heal.  Things have still been fairly straightforward, I've been out and about since the early days, had very little discomfort or pain and no infections, although, I did have a slight issue with a rogue suture.  It was quickly and painlessly removed and i just had to keep a careful monitor of it to make sure it didn't get infected.

Obligatory baby pic to capture your attention ;) photo c/o the amazing Bella and Duck

As a c-section mama, i think we forget that we don't just have an external wound to contend with but the surgery has cut through many layers and sometimes it's the internal wound and scarring that we don't give enough care to.  This is when we need to remember to slow down, take it easy, there really is no rush to do everything and anything too soon.

So here are my top tips that helped my recovery and might be useful for you:

BIG PANTS 
You will have an incision very low on your abdomen, which in fact, in time (if you have had a good surgeon) will be barely noticeable, yay! However, g-strings and lacy knickers will be staying in the underwear drawer a little while longer.  You don't want anything rubbing on your wound, it will hurt and the wound may leak or get infected.  You really do want parachute proportion panties for ultimate comfort.  I even sent my husband to the shops to stock up on more for me while I was in hospital, if that's not a passion killer for you, i don't know what is!  I bought mine from Primark.  In my first pregnancy, i stocked up on M&S knickers but honestly, i think they are rubbish and the cheap ones served me much better and i didn't feel any shred of disappointment binning them at a later date.
You may also want to stay wearing maternity leggings for a  little while longer and also stock up on big sanitary towels.  Not too big, I once picked up adult nappies by mistake - let's just say, they made walking very awkward.  I bled for about 10 days after my first section, and about 6 weeks after my second section fyi.  TMI?

ARNICA TABLETS
Arnica is said to help bruising, swelling and aching.  As a homeopathic medicine, it's difficult to prove it's effectiveness but having had a fairly smooth recovery both times, I do think they helped plus I will give anything a go as long as it is safe - which it is.  I bought Nelson's Arnica tablets from Holland & Barrett.

DRINK WATER
It goes without saying really, water will help flush out toxins in your body and will help ease any bloating or swelling.  I will never forget laying in a ward with another c-section mum who was drinking bottle upon bottle of full fat coke!  She kept complaining of tummy pains and i couldn't help but think it was from all the gas in the coke which would be incredibly sore when you have wounds to heal from.

MOBILISE 
After my first section, I was mobilised after 6 hours when my spinal had worn off and my catheter was removed.  I had a severe case of jelly legs but it was so good to be standing and moving (well, shuffling) around the ward.  I was able to go for a shower almost right away which is another thing i would recommend, don't be afraid to go for one, your wound will be covered in a plaster so nothing to fear. This time around, I was mobilised after 6 hours with assistance but policy had changed and my catheter had to be kept in for 12 hours so although i got up and down to my baby's cot to pick her up, I didn't leave the ward, but that was because of my own personal feelings regarding the catheter.  As soon as it was gone, i was doing laps of the ward! Those first few steps are tentative ones as you work out the best way to position yourself but you'll get the hang of it in no time.

TAKE YOUR MEDS
Self explanatory.  You will be sent home with painkillers and and anti-inflammatories. Take them. As and when prescribed.  Don't forget/refuse to take them then tell everyone you are in agony over being cut in half.  You'll never win a medal for it and you will only put the fear of life into someone who has yet to experience a birth of any sort.  Be kind to yourself and to others.

KEEP YOUR WOUND CLEAN AND DRY
Take heed.  I showered morning and night (easier said than done, especially when you already have kids).  I would gently pat my wound clean using Aveeno body wash - which has no nasties or fragrance, and I always used a fresh clean towel for every shower.  I was absolutely meticulous about this.  I was desperate to avoid infection. You must keep your wound dry.  This is easier in the beginning as you will have a plaster over the wound but around day 5 the plaster is removed (I removed my own which I would recommend and the MW was happy for me to do so).  I took extra measures to keep it dry once the plaster was off - I would pat dry with a clean towel, lay down to air dry (again, this is easier when it's your first baby), and my new tip because I had another child to look after - the hairdryer on cool setting! Now, please beware of this tip, as some midwives will recommend it and others will tell you there is a risk of blowing infection bugs onto the wound this way.  Thankfully, it worked well for me.

LOOK IN THE MIRROR 
Check out your wound in the mirror.  I bet you will be terrified the first time you go to look then be pleasantly surprised at how small and (hopefully) neat it is.  I would look at mine everytime I got out of the shower, to make sure it didn't look red or pussy - as I said, I was obsessed about avoiding infection.  I ended up having a rogue suture left behind after my second section but it only became noticeable after the midwives had signed me off so had I not been checking, I may not have noticed and it would have been a breeding ground for infection.

J-BREATH 
This is a game changer ... the J-breath used in hypnobirthing to deliver your baby... well, you now get to use it for delivering your first post birth poo.  It works, trust me.

Those are my main tips for aiding recovery and they really worked well for me.  There's not much if anything I would do different.  Other things that helped me was breast feeding - apparently it helps with the healing process but if anything it forces you into resting up.  Also, accepting help.  As a mum, it's hard to take up the offer of help but do it.  People are dying to help new mums out and all offers are genuine so take them up on it!

What have I missed?  Any other c-section mamas have any tips they would like to share?
 

Tokophobia and Hypnobirthing

Tokophobia:

Tokophobia is a pathological fear of pregnancy and can lead to avoidance of childbirth.  It can be classified as primary or secondary.  Primary is morbid fear of childbirth in a woman, who has no previous experience of pregnancy. 

This was me.  Tokophobic.  Terrified of childbirth.  From memory, I had been terrified of childbirth from around the age of 19 or 20.  I don't remember being so scared as a child although I have always been quite a squeamish person. 

As an adult, such a phobia is debilitating and tokophobia specifically, doesn't seem to be recognised by many health professionals, especially midwives or any of those involved in caring for you and your pregnancy. 

So how I came to have a baby is as baffling to me as it will be to anyone reading this.  I always had the desire to have children but the fear was so strong that I pushed it to the back of my mind and was insistent that a life with children just was not for me.  My fear would manifest itself in a number of different ways.  Scenarios that were common ... 

1) Discussing with friends news of new baby arrivals;  If the conversation became detailed around the birth, I would begin to feel sick and usually I would have to hide myself away in the bathroom to be sick or sob into a tissue in the hope that when I returned to the room, the conversation had moved on. 

2) Overhearing a discussion about childbirth between strangers on the bus.  I fainted.  The bus had to be emptied while an ambulance was called for me. (overdramatic, much? CRINGE). 

3) Watching childbirth on TV (something I still avoid at all costs), I would very often pass out or get too upset to watch any further and turn over before it became gory.  

Of course, as with any phobia, it is completely psychological but it took me until the age of 32 for my desire to have children to become greater than my fear of childbirth.  Even then I knew it wouldn't be a simple journey and I would have to train my mind for D-day if I were to get through it with my sanity intact.  My worry was that childbirth may traumatise me so much that I wouldn't be able to go through it again. 

When I first discovered I was pregnant, I was delighted but of course, petrified.  For the first few weeks, I spent many a morning sobbing into my pillow in sheer terror of what was to come.  I tried to discuss my phobia with my GP and my midwives but they had no idea what I was talking about, with many of them completely disregarding me as just another scared mum to be.  Tokophobia is definitely more than your natural fear of what lies ahead so this is when I decided to do some of my own research and embark upon my hypnobirthing journey. 

The basic premise of hypnobirthing is to remove fear, which in doing so will reduce or eliminate pain.  I followed the Marie Mongan method which promotes natural, drug free births.  I was lucky enough to get in touch with an old school friend who was a hypnobirthing practicioner and together with my husband she took us through a series of classes that taught us about the fundamentals of childbirth along with all the tools and techniques I would need to get my through the birth of my first baby. Through hypnobirthing, I learned many techniques for relaxation and fear release and it taught me that despite how modern day society has shaped childbirth into a scary, horror inducing event, it is indeed a very natural, beautiful process.  You just have to tell someone your wonderful pregnancy news and the first thing they do is discuss labour stories with you, mainly horrific ones! Why ladies must you torture others? Why?? Seriously, what is up with you?  

Anyway, if you have read my previous posts, you will know that I ended up with a c-section.  A lot of friends and family were very cynical of my attempts at a hypnobirth (and a water birth at that too) ... and they felt my efforts had been a waste of time and money given the outcome of my baby's delivery but I still cannot recommend hypnobirthing enough.  The breathing and relaxation techniques helped me through my initial contractions (or surges as we referred to them in hypnobirthing) and c-section itself so it can definitely be adapted to whatever situation you end up in when delivering your baby. 

As part of the hypnobirthing classes, we watched a lot of dvd's of births and I managed to do so without fainting, although it was touch and go with the first couple! I wouldn't go as far as to watch One Born Every Minute but it's been nice to watch the birth stories of fellow bloggers/vloggers on you tube.  I would definitely recommend you watch Laura of Belles Boutique and Mrs Meldrum's you tube accounts of their birth stories. 

I wouldn't say I am completely over my fear, despite now having a baby of my own but I do know that I would be happy to have another baby and put my hypnobirth training to good use again whether I go for another c-section or a natural birth (VBAC).  It is disappointing however, that there aren't many resources, advice or help for women suffering tokophobia.  I have yet to speak to a medical professional who will take me seriously about it although I know there has to be some out there.  

If anything, I would love for anyone who suffers the same to be able to read this and know that they can do it.  They can control their fear, they can deliver a baby and they can enjoy it.  You don't have to live in fear of a few hours of your life that will give you the most precious gift you will ever know.